So I broke up with him on Sunday, and Wednesday I went to dinner at his bar. I wasn’t sure how to act when we were seeing each other I was definitely unsure how to act when were just supposed to be “friends.” I sat uncomfortably at a table trying to figure out what I would say, would I smile, would I be coy? This really sucked. I sat with my friend and ordered dinner. Let the game of confusion begin.
After ordering dinner, he spotted me, we exchanged smiles. When our food arrived he sat next to me and we chatted for a couple of minutes. When our second round of beers came, he came back. He started to try to convince me to go on a pub crawl that coming weekend. I knew that would end badly, but for some reason it felt soo good.
Before he left, he gave me a huge hug, he followed it up with a text saying that he was glad to see me. The next day he texted me again. Around noon, he called me. Had I entered some sort of alternative universe? WTF? I had ended things with the guy because he wouldn’t pay attention to me and now I was getting text messages and phone calls. This totally sucked. The shameful desire for the most unavailable guy came crawling back (as well as the best sex of my life). The desire to sit and shoot the shit came falling over me. I just wanted to laugh with him, flirt with him. I just wanted it all, and badly!
I spent the rest of the week convincing myself that I wouldn’t go on this pub crawl, that it was a bad idea, but I knew I was kidding myself. I knew that I would be right on that bus, and I knew that I would flirt with him. And crawl I did.